Wangji is trying to process the role you played in young Master Wei's fate. In a way, you stole a life from him; in another, you stole sixteen years. Perhaps things would still have worked that way if you had not gotten involved, but there is no way to know.
For Wangji, to see you getting affection when his lifetime confidant can barely accept himself deserving of any
It pained him. And a part of him thought that you have tricked them into affection.
But the past cannot be undone. I believe that you have not done so on purpose, and I believe you about Jin Rulan now.
We will look for a solution, or at least information.
He is in love with him. [For all of his faults, Meng Yao has a keen eye. Others - Mo Xuanyu, Qin Su - had been in love with him and he had used it to his advantage. But the bond he has seen between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian is more like the bond he had tried to have with Lan Xichen. Selfless. Good.]
If I could give all of it back, I would. Wei Wuxian has been fair to me and if the opportunity arises to help him, I will take it. However I did not trick either Lady Miu or Jin Ling.
[ Xichen. Literally has to get up, leaving the device behind, and walk away for a long moment. Once upon a time, to speak of these things would have been natural and right. When this man was Xichen's one confidant, his one support.
But... it was fake. It was a lie, a means for Jin Guangyao to make sure when he wanted Xichen to do something, Xichen would. And he had. He had, and now he is talking about Wangji, and Xichen can't...
Young master Wei treated Meng Yao, and then Jin Guangyao, fairly, and what did he get in return? What good is telling him that he's aware, when it mattered not at all?
It takes him a while to calm down about it. ]
Sometimes, life is not so simple as to allow loving someone to be enough. And it's never so simple as to allow us to take back what we have done.
I believe that you tricked neither of them.
Just... try to treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. That... shouldn't be too difficult, should it? Not as you think they deserve, not as you think anyone else would want you to. Only as you would wish to be treated yourself.
[Xichen sounds so done with him. It frightens him that, one day, he might push this gentle, beautiful man out of his life entirely. So Meng Yao takes the pause to think. He needs to show his love - show himself changing - or Xichen will rightly think he is doing more of the same.]
I've never thought much about that.
But I will.
[How many times has he been knocked down, stabbed and suffered broken bones? Without Xichen, he wouldn't have lived as long as he did.
He owes him his life.]
I'm taking culinary classes. I want to cook for you when you are comfortable enough to receive it.
I am also considering an occupation in an art gallery. It wouldn't take me long to memorize the different art periods and artists.
[ Xichen isn't done with him. He is... hurt, on behalf of his brother, and his brother's chosen person, whom he failed to protect before. It would be even worse if Meng Yao tried to talk about Nie Mingjue.
But he can contain his anger. He can try to be there for Meng Yao in ways that he wasn't before, while trying to not reward things that Xichen believes Meng Yao shouldn't do. ]
It is not easy to learn how to treat people when you're not meant to control them, I think. I will remind you until you get used to it. You are no longer chief cultivator, merely an ordinary... ImPort, I suppose. An ordinary cultivator. Let go of trying to steer things into certain ways. Focus on healing.
These things are good, and... I think the lessons won't be in vain. But do try to enjoy them just for themselves, not only for me, and also with the occupation you choose. Do you think that possible?
[Oh what he would do to be tucked close to Xichen until the awful memories fade. He loves him more than ever and the intensity of the feelings makes him dizzy. Yet it is amazing that Xichen is speaking to him at all - and so kindly too. Meng Yao suppresses a sigh and smiles softly.]
I am only a man, Zewu-Jun. My name is Meng Yao - not Jin Guangyao. He perished in Guanyin Temple at the hands of Nie Mingjue.
I want to cook for myself too. A good diet will make all the difference in helping my body adjust to all of the changes.
I am an Import - if I exceed their expectations for the position, they will be tempted to hire me with or without this world's qualifications.
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ze_uwu_jun) wrote2033-01-09 09:40 pm
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maskormenace
no subject
For Wangji, to see you getting affection when his lifetime confidant can barely accept himself deserving of any
It pained him. And a part of him thought that you have tricked them into affection.
But the past cannot be undone. I believe that you have not done so on purpose, and I believe you about Jin Rulan now.
We will look for a solution, or at least information.
no subject
If I could give all of it back, I would. Wei Wuxian has been fair to me and if the opportunity arises to help him, I will take it. However I did not trick either Lady Miu or Jin Ling.
no subject
But... it was fake. It was a lie, a means for Jin Guangyao to make sure when he wanted Xichen to do something, Xichen would. And he had. He had, and now he is talking about Wangji, and Xichen can't...
Young master Wei treated Meng Yao, and then Jin Guangyao, fairly, and what did he get in return? What good is telling him that he's aware, when it mattered not at all?
It takes him a while to calm down about it. ]
Sometimes, life is not so simple as to allow loving someone to be enough. And it's never so simple as to allow us to take back what we have done.
I believe that you tricked neither of them.
Just... try to treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. That... shouldn't be too difficult, should it? Not as you think they deserve, not as you think anyone else would want you to. Only as you would wish to be treated yourself.
no subject
I've never thought much about that.
But I will.
[How many times has he been knocked down, stabbed and suffered broken bones? Without Xichen, he wouldn't have lived as long as he did.
He owes him his life.]
I'm taking culinary classes. I want to cook for you when you are comfortable enough to receive it.
I am also considering an occupation in an art gallery. It wouldn't take me long to memorize the different art periods and artists.
no subject
But he can contain his anger. He can try to be there for Meng Yao in ways that he wasn't before, while trying to not reward things that Xichen believes Meng Yao shouldn't do. ]
It is not easy to learn how to treat people when you're not meant to control them, I think. I will remind you until you get used to it. You are no longer chief cultivator, merely an ordinary... ImPort, I suppose. An ordinary cultivator. Let go of trying to steer things into certain ways. Focus on healing.
These things are good, and... I think the lessons won't be in vain. But do try to enjoy them just for themselves, not only for me, and also with the occupation you choose. Do you think that possible?
no subject
I am only a man, Zewu-Jun. My name is Meng Yao - not Jin Guangyao. He perished in Guanyin Temple at the hands of Nie Mingjue.
I want to cook for myself too. A good diet will make all the difference in helping my body adjust to all of the changes.
I am an Import - if I exceed their expectations for the position, they will be tempted to hire me with or without this world's qualifications.