[ Tea. Yes. Wuxian steps in with a small little bow, and will at least try to sit calmly. But his fingers will tap on a bent knee and he'll chew on his bottom lip.
The question has him smile with an absent little shake of his head. ]
I'm fine, Zewu-Jun. It's just...
I saw the whip scars on Lan Zhan's back. And the brand on his chest. He won't talk about them...What happened?
[ Xichen blinks. Oh. They have had this conversation before. His hand strays until it's wrapped around Liebing.
Better than asking to take young master Wei's pulse. Probably. ]
Ah.
He ... would not tell you, no. They were a consequence of Nevernight, one that he submitted to when Uncle assigned it, and one that he inflicted on himself.
Are you certain you wish to know the details beyond that? He would rather protect you at least until you are better healed, and I do not disagree, but your choices also matter.
Wuxian frowns at the information, gaze flicking around without really seeing as he thinks over what it means. Then huffs out a quiet breath, returning his attention to Xichen as he manages a small smile. ]
Thank you for your concern, but...I think I need to know.
[ And there's the doubt in the back of his mind on if he even can heal more. He keeps breaking. How many more times can he survive before he just...stops? Before he shatters completely? ]
He can well understand the doubt about healing. But for both of them, the harm has been very recent, and they have not had time to rest and try to heal.
Xichen would soothe the worry, at least, or try to. ]
Please keep in mind that he never, ever would wish you to be hurt by any of this. It was his own ... his own life, when he did not suspect you would ever be back in it.
[ His words are calm, softer than the first time he said this, outlining Uncle's punishment for Wangji, the required time of healing. And then... ]
Even so, he went out of the assigned seclusion to go to Caiyi town and buy some Emperor's smile. He...
As far as I know, he was looking for a dizi. I guess he went to look for one in the rare items storage, where we often keep various instruments that nobody uses at the time. Unfortunately, a brand that was... removed from Nevernight after the fall of Wen Ruohan was also kept there. I found him passed out, with it on his chest.
[ Wuxian gives Xichen his full attention, head a little lowered but gaze fixed on him. He trusts this man to tell him the truth, almost as much as he trusts Wangji. He knows he'll actually get more of an answer from Xichen, at least.
He listens...even when it's difficult. Doesn't interrupt. Hardly even breathes, let alone make a sound. He could chuckle, hearing Lan Wangji had gone out and bought liquor. But he doesn't. Because what happened after...hurts.
His gaze lowers when Xichen seems to be done- and what more can be said? His fingers dig into the cloth at his knees, deeper. Facts seem to click into place.
Not just accusations. Not just fancy. But facts.
Wuxian holds his silence for another few minutes, poking at the thought for real. Then nods, short and sharp and returns a steady gaze to Xichen. ]
One more question, Zewu-Jun. Because I know you know his heart.
Young master Wei, I think you would have known a long time ago if Wangji did not love you.
As to what kind of love, that may be for Wangji himself to answer, but...
In... my past, and the future you will probably return to, when you asked about the scars on his back, I also told you... something else, which is about Wangji, and about what I think you are asking, too. Would you like to hear it?
[ Or are you too tired now, which is something Xichen can well believe. It has not been an easy time for any of them. ]
[ Xichen nods, slowly, then takes a deep breath to. Calm himself down a little. It is not easier to put in words any of it, not even for the second time. ]
A long time ago, my father met my mother and fell in love with her at first sight. However, she did not love him as much. At one time, she killed one of the elders of the Clan, one of his teachers. She... would have been punished by death. But my father instead took her to the Cloud Recesses, married her, and told the elders, told the world, that she is his fated one, his wedded wife, and he would take no other.
But because of the crime she had committed, he found a house, and locked her into it.
And he found another house, and locked himself into it.
She... Wangji and I were only allowed to visit her once a month. She always met us with a smile, and never complained about being... imprisoned. She would tease Wangji, and you know how he is when teased, but I knew that he looked forward to it, every month.
Then one month, they told us she was gone. And he kept...
Month after month, he kept going there every month. Waiting for her to open the door. Even when he knew what it meant, he kept going, and waiting. [ He draws the xiao to him, but he doesn't play it, not right now. This time, young master Wei is asking different questions. ]
Once... when the Yiling Patriarch was at the height of his power, he asked me for permission to bring somebody to the Cloud Recesses. To protect.
[ He realizes a bit late that this might not be an easy tale for Lan Xichen to tell. But the story still comes out, leaves him motionless, staring with eyes growing wider as each point and parallel is set before him.
Finally Wuxian can't stay sitting still, pushes himself to his feet to start pacing. But doesn't interrupt.
And when Xichen tells him that last little bombshell, he almost stumbles. ]
... not unless you choose him, in turn. He would not repeat our father's mistakes.
[ This much, Xichen knows. There is not nor will there ever be anyone else for Wangji. But he will never put his wishes above those of young master Wei. Especially not when he believes it is unrequited.
Just like their father's feelings. ]
He... these years, he has been referring to you as his lifetime confidant. He would share your path with you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ze_uwu_jun) wrote2033-01-09 09:40 pm
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
maskormenace
[Video]
[ Because he has a feeling it'll end up being a very personal discussion and would rather it not be chanced upon. ]
If you're free?
[Video]
[Video-->Action]
[ It doesn't take him all that long thanks to the Porter before he knocks on Xichen's door. ]
no subject
[ Xichen opens. He has made tea, because... tea. ]
Please come in. Settle down, rest.
[ He'll pour tea and also sit, don't worry. Even if you need to pace. Etc. ]
Are you well?
no subject
The question has him smile with an absent little shake of his head. ]
I'm fine, Zewu-Jun. It's just...
I saw the whip scars on Lan Zhan's back. And the brand on his chest. He won't talk about them...What happened?
no subject
Better than asking to take young master Wei's pulse. Probably. ]
Ah.
He ... would not tell you, no. They were a consequence of Nevernight, one that he submitted to when Uncle assigned it, and one that he inflicted on himself.
Are you certain you wish to know the details beyond that? He would rather protect you at least until you are better healed, and I do not disagree, but your choices also matter.
no subject
Wuxian frowns at the information, gaze flicking around without really seeing as he thinks over what it means. Then huffs out a quiet breath, returning his attention to Xichen as he manages a small smile. ]
Thank you for your concern, but...I think I need to know.
[ And there's the doubt in the back of his mind on if he even can heal more. He keeps breaking. How many more times can he survive before he just...stops? Before he shatters completely? ]
no subject
He can well understand the doubt about healing. But for both of them, the harm has been very recent, and they have not had time to rest and try to heal.
Xichen would soothe the worry, at least, or try to. ]
Please keep in mind that he never, ever would wish you to be hurt by any of this. It was his own ... his own life, when he did not suspect you would ever be back in it.
[ His words are calm, softer than the first time he said this, outlining Uncle's punishment for Wangji, the required time of healing. And then... ]
Even so, he went out of the assigned seclusion to go to Caiyi town and buy some Emperor's smile. He...
As far as I know, he was looking for a dizi. I guess he went to look for one in the rare items storage, where we often keep various instruments that nobody uses at the time. Unfortunately, a brand that was... removed from Nevernight after the fall of Wen Ruohan was also kept there. I found him passed out, with it on his chest.
no subject
He listens...even when it's difficult. Doesn't interrupt. Hardly even breathes, let alone make a sound. He could chuckle, hearing Lan Wangji had gone out and bought liquor. But he doesn't. Because what happened after...hurts.
His gaze lowers when Xichen seems to be done- and what more can be said? His fingers dig into the cloth at his knees, deeper. Facts seem to click into place.
Not just accusations. Not just fancy. But facts.
Wuxian holds his silence for another few minutes, poking at the thought for real. Then nods, short and sharp and returns a steady gaze to Xichen. ]
One more question, Zewu-Jun. Because I know you know his heart.
Does Lan Zhan love me?
no subject
Young master Wei, I think you would have known a long time ago if Wangji did not love you.
As to what kind of love, that may be for Wangji himself to answer, but...
In... my past, and the future you will probably return to, when you asked about the scars on his back, I also told you... something else, which is about Wangji, and about what I think you are asking, too. Would you like to hear it?
[ Or are you too tired now, which is something Xichen can well believe. It has not been an easy time for any of them. ]
no subject
I would like to hear it.
[ He'll go pass out on Wangji later, and probably sleep far too long. But he'll also probably be allowed to. ]
no subject
A long time ago, my father met my mother and fell in love with her at first sight. However, she did not love him as much. At one time, she killed one of the elders of the Clan, one of his teachers. She... would have been punished by death. But my father instead took her to the Cloud Recesses, married her, and told the elders, told the world, that she is his fated one, his wedded wife, and he would take no other.
But because of the crime she had committed, he found a house, and locked her into it.
And he found another house, and locked himself into it.
She... Wangji and I were only allowed to visit her once a month. She always met us with a smile, and never complained about being... imprisoned. She would tease Wangji, and you know how he is when teased, but I knew that he looked forward to it, every month.
Then one month, they told us she was gone. And he kept...
Month after month, he kept going there every month. Waiting for her to open the door. Even when he knew what it meant, he kept going, and waiting. [ He draws the xiao to him, but he doesn't play it, not right now. This time, young master Wei is asking different questions. ]
Once... when the Yiling Patriarch was at the height of his power, he asked me for permission to bring somebody to the Cloud Recesses. To protect.
no subject
Finally Wuxian can't stay sitting still, pushes himself to his feet to start pacing. But doesn't interrupt.
And when Xichen tells him that last little bombshell, he almost stumbles. ]
You-
You're trying-
You're telling me that Lan Zhan-
...His fated person?
Me?
But I'm- [ brokenbleedingnotgoodenough ]
no subject
[ This much, Xichen knows. There is not nor will there ever be anyone else for Wangji. But he will never put his wishes above those of young master Wei. Especially not when he believes it is unrequited.
Just like their father's feelings. ]
He... these years, he has been referring to you as his lifetime confidant. He would share your path with you.
But he will not force your hand.
no subject
No. I know he wouldn't force me.
[ Even without the countless opportunities Lan Wangji's had to do just that.
Even with this information, he trusts Lan Zhan above all others, even himself.
He absently rubs at the side of his head, listening to the rest but no longer quite able to look at Lan Xichen.
It's a lot to think about. A lot to learn all at once.
He shakes his head again and takes a careful breath before turning to face Xichen, then bows formally, hands cupping in front of him. ]
Thank you, Zewu-Jun.
no subject
Young master Wei. It was a pleasure to have you here. And... please, try to allow yourself to rest.
[ Is it important to say this? In all things, yes. ]
no subject
You should too.