dazzlingdream: (牡丹 ledge)
Meng Yao 孟瑶 | Jin Guangyao 金光瑶 ([personal profile] dazzlingdream) wrote in [personal profile] ze_uwu_jun 2020-02-08 01:11 am (UTC)

His little son - his true born child - had been an unfortunate accident. Qin Su had fallen pregnant before their marriage, before he had learned about their too close blood relationship. There was no terminating the pregnancy - she had been so happy - and he couldn't deny her the marriage. She would have been ruined.

The belief that such a child would display the incestuous bond frightened Meng Yao to his core. He would lose...everything...if the world knew. He would lose Qin Su and the life he had worked so hard to acquire. He feared the little boy more than any foe. As he grew, the world would know.

So he had found a way to end his life. Quickly and quietly. He had blamed a political opponent - that was easy - and he had comforted Qin Su. Tragedies are easier to explain.

Meng Yao's gaze lingers on Lan Xichen, his longing hardly disguised. He had loved Qin Su, but that was mostly because she had feelings for him. He is a desperate creature when it comes to affection.

Then he looks back to Jin Ling and memories of holding him as a baby make his chest hurt. He had been so quiet and good when it was just them.

Not once did he feel the same fear with Jin Ling that he had experienced with Jin Rusong.

"Be that as it may, I do want to help." he gives a brief smile, "Counseling is...strange. I see a healer, they ask me questions, they wish to know about my past, how I feel and then they give me suggestions on how I might better myself."

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